I am terrible at blogging

Now on vacation I have tons of spare time. Thus far I have gone to the Berkshires twice, to my sisters in CT, up to my cabin twice, Salisbury beach twice, and RI's Westerly beach twice.

All is well with my new man and my family.

With all this new spare time I have been going through all my drawers and desk in hopes to renew my love for my apartment. I am constantly trying to make myself feel more at home and happy here. It, as always, is moving slowly but surely.

I'm trying to fill up my spare time with fun stuff and visiting old friends. I had a lunch with Evan today which was awesome! I haven't seen him in almost two years! Crazy how time flies.

Also, Jamaica has turned two this month! It's crazy to think it's already been two years since I brought the little puff ball home.

so crazy lately. As of now I am laid off. May have a job, may not. I'm dating Joe. Life's not too bad.

AH Job!

I have a job, I don't have a job, I have a job, I don't have a job, I might have a job. That's the consensus of e-mails and meetings I've had throughout the last month. All TA's in my program were let go except for one. What the heck is going on around here.

I am so stressed and worried for myself, and for all my kids. They won't have a single familiar face next year if they go through with this. Six days left of school then a mini vacation.

I hope this all works out.

UHGH

I am ready to KILL KILL KILL my insurance company.

They have decided to charge me $45 per office visit to my PCP because they found my Dr's office to be on a lower tier of service than they prefer. WTF

I already paid my damn co-pays (which are triple what they were last year).

I have been on the damn phone for my entire lunch break and I am so pissed.

Busy

I haven't been this busy since my undergrad. Or maybe since I watched the Connolly's. I have one last week of classes and then my first two are done. I'm increasingly nervous about getting good grades, which is silly because I know I'll be ok. I have two more classes of Behavior Management and three more of research methods. I hate research methods. It doesn't help that the book I ordered May 10th still hasn't arrived and classes are finishing. I have an impact of special needs class starting on the 29th but it is only Tuesdays and Thursdays which will be a relief after having Mon-Thursday for the past two months.

I've been seeing a lot of J lately. Like, every other day. He's working in Wellesley too so he has been staying over a couple of times during the week. I'm really starting to like this one which is scary. He's exactly what I didn't want. Another musician with big dreams and little reality. Plus, at 22 years old I'm sure he has a lot of growing to do. I know I'm only a two years and a month older but after everything I've been through I'm weary of dating.

He tried to talk to me last night and I completely shut him down. I told him I have a little crush on him, and he said "I've been meaning to ask you about that." I quickly responded "don't worry about it" and rolled over away from him. I'm still not quite sure what the hell I'm doing right now but I think I'm going to just roll with it.

Hooray

It's ninety degrees today, and it feels like Friday. I know it's only Thursday but my class was cancelled this afternoon, which gives me a good solid 5 hours I now have free time for. I'm planning on relaxing for a bit, then going fishing with JH.

Florida is a mere 8 days away. I cannot wait.

Hello long weekend, hello Florida, goodbye Massachusetts and all the little problems in my life that I try to pretend don't matter.

I'm so busy with classes it's driving me a little crazy lately.

Scandal in the boys department, what's new.

I should be asleep but I'm wired.

Less than 2 weeks to Florida.

Tell Me That You'll Open Your Eyes

I've been getting into Snow Patrol lately. Corny I know, but I love it.

I survived my first class. Now I remember why I didn't want to go back haha. Tomorrow I'll have 6 hours of class. Boo.

I'm really proud of myself though.

Just in time for grad school and my birthday

We have multiple cases of children with swineflu in my school. I have my fingers crossed that I don't get it. If I do I'm screwed. I have classes all weekend and every day next week except for Friday. Yikes.

Cinco De Mayo

Anddd now I have cinco de hangover. 4 Margaritas and two free shots of tequila later I was toast. Not the best idea on a Tuesday night. Today I was such a mess I went to my mum's to pick up my laundry and ended up leaving without it. Ooops.

I love that I have a little following of 21 year old boys. Justin was asking me to go to the bar with him tonight.

I swear I don't mean to do it

But I'm a cougar. HAHA. I went to the Bouncing Souls/Loved ones show Thursday and was absolutely floored. It had been so long since I'd seen either band and I got such a high on life from that show. At the end the cute boy next to me says "I have to hand out flyers after the show, come see me my name's Dustin." So in my drunken happiness I spotted him outside and gave him my number. Come to find out, he's 21. Oops. I always did say as long as he could buy me a beer I'd date em. But now my 25th birthday is upon me (1 week exactly) and I'm feeling a little cougarish for even thinking about it. Doesn't help that I made out with a 22 year old all Saturday night to boot. I never claimed that I wasn't a makeout slut. I even lost an earring.

So Thursday Souls, Friday, Saturday, Sunday Berkshires. Sunday night Alkaline Trio. Needless to say I needed today off.

I'm being observed for the first time tomorrow to see if they will approve my placement or not. Fingers crossed everything will work out ok.

last hurrahs (for a while)

So I have taken my free time and weekends to spend my time doing the funnest things possible. So far I've got to P-town, Hampton Beach, Salisbury Beach, and I'm going to the Berkshires this weekend. I've ridden a donkey, won vampire teeth, climbed on machinery, and mooned a bunch of people.

I start grad school in two weeks. Life is good.

Aww Boston

Yesterday Jenzy and Joey went into Boston with me. We went to JP and picked up Jeff and gave him a ride to work. Then we walked around for a good 4 hours. I parked in charlestown and we walked all through the North End, had a nice lunch at Cafe Osteria and then got cannolis. From two different bakeries. Modern and Mikes. I got one from each but ended up eating only one and giving the other to my mum and sister. The day before was also a road trip. Jen, Joe, Wendy, and I drove up to Hampton Beach. We had a stroll on the beach, nice seafood lunch, and fun at the arcade. Wendy and I had a match of dance dance revolution which was weak. I had a gypsy fortune telling machine steal my dollar. Then I rode a donkey ride with a barrel of tequila on the back and some random drunk guy pretended to "smack my ass." It was hilarious. After NH Wendy and I went to Worcester to see Widow Sunday play in a battle of the bands at Tammany Hall. Then we went to Pepperoncini's to see Cuban Pete play in a cover band. He was dressed in tight pants and a Hawaian shirt and had his hair slicked back. He reminded me of Fat Mike ala Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. I had a super drunk guy dance with me. I tried to give him the twirl but he wouldn't. His friends and Beeps and Wendy were cracking up the whole time. It was a crazy but fun weekend.

mini miracles

Recently Jane lost her dog Indy. She's been having a really hard time since. She tried to help get out of her depression by running. Then she was having severe pain. After an MRI she was told no more running. She left a bulletin sounding so defeated. I remembered a time when I felt the same way and I was trying to reverse my feelings, focus on the positive and force myself to be happy. She had left me a nice encouraging comment which I in turn dug up and posted to her. She created a new bulletin saying how it was a miracle to have me and others in her life. Often times when I am feeling down I look at all the mini miracles I have in my own life. I have some truly awesome friends and one of the best families I could ever ask for. I have a great job where I can help others, I was accepted into grad school and my Dad is going to help me financially. I have two awesome cats and a cute home. I am truly blessed every day with all that God has give me. Thank you to all my own mini miracles in life.

sometimes friends are all you need

After a weekend of drinking for free with Wendy (thanks Anthony) I was hoping to have a relaxing rainy Sunday. I arrived home from Wendy's with a text asking if I'd like to partake in a radnom road trip. What the hell, I thought. A quick shower and removal of metal shards in my eye (from a welded trike!) off I was. Bubba, Jenzy and I went all the way to the tip. Ptown, that is. We had a blast walking the abandoned streets. The fog was so dense you could just barely make out the tower. We saw some gays, checked out spank the monkey, ate a chocolate covered pile of marshmellows, had fish and chips, ate even more junk food, and had a blast. I ended the night by making everyone steak tips for dinner. Just when I start to feel sad I remind myself of random little fun times. I'm so glad I have my friends.

It's been a while

So since the last blog a lot has happened. My dad was in a major snowmobile accident the night of dinkstock. Sugah drove me all the way to NH to see him. What an awesome person to do that.

I have cut all ties with the latest ex who has always somehow found ways to still hurt me.

Cody joined the army and is leaving April 22nd.

I have officially been accepted into grad school and will tentatively be starting courses in May.

I may or may not have a job next year and I am sweating that out right now.

My new boss also quit mid-year which has left us with a permanent sub who is only part-time. I am no on restraint duty for MK.

I'm starting to approach my home as being content and working with what I've got without spending too much money.

Beeps wants me to move with her and I am unsure if I want to go through with that or not.

I joined watercize two times a week and I am hoping to start jogging again now that the weather is nicer.

I am going through spurts of still not caring about my appearence, and am on a rollercoaster diet. One week I'll eat super healthy all week then binge drink and get dairy queen on the weekends.

I have kept myself rather busy lately which I think is good for my mental health but as a result I am not sleeping enough which again ties into the appearence factor.

I am going to Florida with Jenzie, Melissa, and Wendy in May and I am so pumped for it.

Tonight I am taking little sis out for mani/pedi and sushi in dot/Quincy and am pumped for it.

February Break

I'm on vacation for a week after Friday! I am not sure if I'm going to Canada or not. I don't want to go for the full week and I don't want to drive up alone. But I have no one to go with me. I can't wait to sleep in again though. The weather has been nice and warm around here lately and I may just stay here and enjoy the warmth. I wish I had some funds, I'd take off to CA and visit Evan, Colleen, and Dan. I miss them a lot.

TO DO

Please submit a 3-5 page essay describing why you would like to attend Wheelock College as a graduate student. Your essay should include information on which degree program you would like to pursue, how you became interested in this field of work, and why you feel Wheelock College, with its mission to improve the lives of children and families, would be the ideal place for you to continue your education. You are also encouraged to describe the strengths that you bring to your chosen field and the professional challenges that you will face.

Sick sick sick

I haven't been this sick in a long time. Wicked high fever, pukes, aches and pains, cough, runny nose, head aches. I have the flu and a sinus infection. I am so miserable. At least I now have TV.

I did it

I went to the party. It was so awkward and we both pretended we didn't exist. I felt his eyes on me and it made my stomach ache and urch. After a few beers I gave him a quick "hey howareya" as we passed in the hallway. I need to let go and move on but it is so hard. I don't know why I let myself go the way I do.

At least I know I looked hot. I woke up next to Dylan with the name "Will" written on my hand. The most productive thing I've done all day was take a bath and make a grilled cheese sandwich. I finally have TV and internet YAY!

I am hoping that tomorrow I can convince myself to do a massive cleaning of the apartment. Perhaps I will reward myself with a new purchase of some sort.

Eh Friday

As much as I have difficulty waking up and going to work on a Friday I am somewhat dreading going home. Jeff made it clear that he was going to a party I was planning on attending and now I am stuck with no plans. Usually I wouldn't mind this so much, but I am already going to be stuck in all day tomorrow waiting for the comcast man to come. Fortunately I will now have cable and internet at home. (YAY!)

I am trying to stay positive and in doing so I am planning on re-doing my apartment one thing at a time. I already got new curtains and some new pillows. I also purchased a duvet to replace the comforter I have been cramming in my duvet cover. I already re-organized my bedroom and living room, made a pot rack in the kitchen, and shed myself of tons of, well, crap.

On the to do list is:
-Call landlord and have him fix my sink! (ahh KITH pops into my mind)
-Add color to my drab black and white/apartment rental white walled bedroom.
-Create a substitute headboard (perhaps order a large size print of one of my photos)
-Sand, paint, and prime my dresser and perhaps sidetables/night stands
-Buy leaning bookshelf from ikea
-Get a new desk, or make a new one using file cabinets and a wall unit
-Get roman blinds for the kitchen
-Wallpaper or somehow cover shabby cabinet laminates
-See if I can re-do bathroom walls

I wish I could paint over my walls so badly. They are plastered so they look like a ceiling and they are so ugly off-white eggshell.

Non-design goals:
-Create an exercise regimen
-Care more about my body/skin/appearence/mental well being
-Apply and attend grad school
-Maintain a clean home
-Let go of those who continuously enter my life and bring me down
-Make new friends
-Save money
-Plan super-fab vacation with Sugah

God Bless Martin Luther King JR

TGIF. I thankfully have a long weekend beginning in a mere two hours and forty minutes. I am dog sitting for the Lucy beast later tonight so I may or may not go out at all tonight. I was invited to Dave Sullivan's bowling birthday party at Pins, going to the movies with Susan and Beeps, or possibly staying in and watching Oz all night. Oh yeah, or go to Jeff's in JP which I already know I will not be doing.

Tomorrow there is a poker tournament and first prize is a free trip to Atlantic City. Sounds fun to me, but I'm not even sure I want to play. Molly is also having a "pamper party" tomorrow night which Beeps wants me to go to with her.

I, on the other hand, kinda just want to go to my cabin and disappear. I just don't want to go the three hour drive by myself. I wish I had better (still in my life) guy friends who could go with me.

Ew

I woke up this morning and had an incredibly hard time persuading myself out of bed. I couldn't fathom why I was so tired as I did not have a particularly late night before. Then upon entering the school my arm started to hurt. I pushed up my sleeve and realized I was covered in hives. A trip to the school nurse and two benadryls later I am utterly exhausted. My only savior is this half a roast beef (Ryan) sandwich and the broken heating system. I am debating leaving early. I'm going to try and stick it through the next few hours but it will not be easy.

Other news:
Bad-Jeff St. Hilaire had a seizure last night

Good-Kristen stoetzel had a boy today.

My first blog

I have recently discovered the beauty of blogging. Now that I will be getting internet at home again (Hi it's been 5 months!) I decided to start a blog.